Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.
Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit’s revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.
Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I’ve found.
Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
I’m tired, Lord.. of not loving you
I’m tired of not desiring you.
I’m tired of not trusting you.
I’m tired of not depending on you.
I don’t want to look to myself.
I don’t want to hold idols close.
What do I think I will gain?
Nothing.. nothing.. nothing.
Then what am I doing?
Why are you so faithful, Lord.. when I am not? Forgive me.
“…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Rom. 5:8
I may be sinful.. but You have made me a Saint. Purify me, Cleanse me, Make me Holy. Make me faithful… make me love you.
More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!
Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
Now Thee alone I seek, give what is best.
This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Sing, O heavens, for the LORD has done it; shout, O depths of the earth; break forth into singing, O mountains, O forest, and every tree in it! For the LORD has redeemed Jacob, and will be glorified in Israel.
Is. 44:23
C.S Lewis writes the following about our heart:
“If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless, - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
- Unmask my sin and my hurtful attitude and my desire to hide and protect my heart, and lead me into a spirit of humility.
Reading A Lifting Up For The Downcast by puritan author William Bridge, and it is piercing to my heart, causing me both to rejoice and be convicted. The section is talking about the times where God appears to be absent from us, hiding His face for a short while… but why does God suffer it to be so? It is for our good.
“For their good they have peace and comfort, and for their good they lack peace and comfort”
For our good… how often do we cast this promise:
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” Rom. 8:28
What a treasure this promise is! Not only are all things working for our good, but we are also called according to His purpose! How wonderful our GOD is, having a purpose for us in CHRIST, to be holy and blameless and obedient before Him. Why is it that we hold to this promise when we are comfortable, satisfied, happy, and safe? Yet the moment any of those begin to slip, we fall into despair… and either forget the promises altogether, or seek to fill ourselves back up with idols that give us that momentary satisfaction. Oh, how fast we cling to idols, looking away from our first love.. seeking another. Forgive us, Father.. forgive ME for this grievous sin against Your Holy Name!
But may THIS be our quiet disposition while trials tread upon us:
“When God is absent from us, then we have testimonies of our love to God, by our desires after Him; and when He is present, then we have testimonies of His love to us, by the shining of His countenance; so that whether God shines or not, whether we have comfort or not, both are for our good.”
Lord, may this be so in my own life and in the life of your own. That while you hide your face [for our good], that in that dark time we may proclaim our love for You, and our desire for Your face. Oh, that I would be desperate for You and Your Word, that even in the darkest of times I would not look away even for a moment, but look always to CHRIST… always to my faithful and merciful Lord, knowing that He is always refining, and perfecting me… and conforming me ever more to Himself. Praise The LORD!
But.. :
“So long as man has encouragement elsewhere, he does not encourage himself in the Lord his God. This being man’s nature, and God having a design of love upon His own children, He permits a damp and discouragement to pass upon all their comforts: their peace to be interrupted, their hearts to be quieted, and their souls to be discouraged, so that they may encourage themselves in GOD alone”
When God see’s that we love, take comfort, rejoice, and are satisfied in anything but Himself… He will take away those comforts, that we may “encourage ourselves in God alone”. How faithful the Lord is… that when we so often look away from Him to others, that He graciously brings us back to Himself, showing us that only HE can love us like we desire, only He can satisfy our deep hunger. Amen and Amen.
“Sometimes God permits this cloud to arise upon the peace and comforts of His people, that He may train them up unto more perfection. Comfort is the children’s milk. You may observe, therefore, that the weaker Christian has sometimes more lively, sensible comforts than the stronger Christian has. Why? Because this inward joy and peace and comfort is that milk and sweet honey, whereby they are drawn off from the pleasures and the sweetness of the world’s comforts, so we have need to be weaned again from these weaners. This God does sometimes by the restraining of them, and so we grow up unto more perfection”
Oh, Father…. remove any desire that is not of You. Remove any comfort, any joy, any satisfaction.. that is not of You, and for You, and to Your glory. Draw me ever more away from the comforts of the world, that I may cling to you, my God, and my Savior. AMEN.
Thus the Lord says unto His own… :
” These Inward Trials I employ, From self, and pride, to set thee free; And break thy schemes of earthly joy, That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”
You are so good Lord, so good to me. May I be ever thankful for who You are, and what You give. May I continually seek my comfort, joy, and satisfaction in YOU alone. Take away all else.. only You, Lord… only You. My love, my love.
Lately.. I’ve had a renewed peace in the sovereignty of God. I have been fervently praying to have Wisdom from the Word, to have peace in the knowledge of Christ, to persevere and endure to the end knowing that I am being refined, and to keep my mind focused on the throne of God. Yet.. when I think about verses like.
“He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.” Hebrews 1:3
All I can think about is.. why do I underestimate the power of God? The same power that sustains the whole universe is the same power of the Gospel. Its incredible. You know It’s hard to spiritually feed myself all the time. Usually I have times at church, or a Bible study, or just a random theological discussion that keeps me boosted and encouraged. But now I need to learn to do all that and my regular devotion time on top of everything else. I mean I don’t want to complain about the things I’m doing - I love my job and I love the people I work with and see on a daily basis….but it’s hard to constantly give out and also keep myself spiritually fed. Maybe… I’m just disappointed that I can’t handle all of it when I thought that I could…but Christ is sufficient.
The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Ps. 34:10.
To write my thoughts about the Lord. To proclaim His excellencies. To learn, to change, to conform ever more to Christ, to be transformed into His likeness.
Well? Lets see how this goes….
The Lord is faithful… always faithful!
“I have a lover, Christ, and yet I want love for him. I have a lovely and desirable Lord, who is love-worthy, and who beggeth my love and heart, and I have nothing to give him. Dear brother, come further in on Christ, and see a new treasure in him: come in, and look down and see angels’ wonder, and heaven and earth’s wonder of love, sweetness, majesty, and excellency in him…No pen, no words, no image can express to you the loveliness of my only, only Lord Jesus.” Samuel Rutherford
